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  • Melissa McLane

How To Banish Self Destructive Behaviors




You have the power to change your feelings, thoughts, and actions. With this power, you can banish self-sabotage from your life forever.

Use this checklist to eliminate any self-defeating behaviors you may have.

‣ Step 1. Admit to yourself that you engage in self-sabotage behaviors. Acknowledging that you’ve taken actions that thwarted your efforts to live a fulfilling life is the first step toward resolution. This is not unique to self-sabotage; it’s true of any mistake.

‣ Step 2. Write out the specifics of how you self-sabotage. Get down everything you can think of from the last year or so that you’ve done to sabotage your efforts at home, at work, and in relationships.

‣ Step 3. Take responsibility for all of your thoughts and actions. This is a very important step; until you see that your life is entirely yours to live, you’ll likely waste time by blaming other people and situations.

‣ Step 4. Journal how you’ll handle challenging situations from now on. Although this will take some thought and time, it will help you to think through resolutions to your challenges.

‣ Step 5. Share your plans to end self-defeating behaviors with a friend or family member. It could be your best friend, a family member, or a mentor.

‣ Step 6. Recognize that you’re worth the effort to change your actions. See the value you in your own life. After all, it’s the only one you have!

‣ Step 7. Believe in yourself. You can do it.

‣ Step 8. Make a promise to end the self-sabotage. Committing to yourself that you’ll take action is a powerful step in this process.

‣ Step 9. Put thought-stopping techniques to work for you to change negative cognitions. Practice using the red light/green light visualization technique mentioned in the book.

‣ Step 10. Provide yourself with positive reinforcement as you decrease self-defeating actions. Reward yourself in healthy ways for your hard work. After all, you deserve it!

‣ Step 11. Acknowledge positive feelings and experiences gained by making changes. Give yourself some credit. You’re doing well.

‣ Step 12. Educate yourself by reading self-help books about feelings, motives, and life goals. Select one of the books suggested in the book or find a different one that interests you.

‣ Step 13. Be vigilant about self-destructive thoughts and feelings. Monitor your thoughts to ward off negativity as soon as you notice it.

‣ Step 14. Allow yourself to change your ways of thinking. Open your mind to the new possibilities that surround you. Think outside your own box.

‣ Step 15. Consider seeking professional help if your efforts to change aren’t effective. Call a counselor, therapist, life coach, or social worker to help you get unstuck.

‣ Step 16. Keep at it; continue your focus to reduce self-sabotage. Persevere, no matter what.

‣ Step 17. Renew your commitment as often as needed to fight self-sabotage. Each day, promise to yourself to thwart self-defeating behaviors however you can.

As you apply these steps, you’ll be amazed at how much better your world and outlook become!

You’ll think more positively, feel more content, and embrace life with a whole new sense of excitement about the future. Banish your self-sabotaging behaviors to live your best life ever!

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